Tip 1
It will come as no surprise to those who know me that I am going to start this sleep conversation with a trouble-shooting exercise to ensure that all is well in your baby’s physical and emotional world. Lack of hunger, absence of pain, suitable warmth, a sense of containment, recognition of habit-form and a perception of adequate connectiveness when awake, are all important to address prior to commencing any settling, sleep and re-settling processes.
Now, before we go much further it is important that you recognise that the items I’ve just mentioned are somewhat more challenging than just the straightforward education regarding infant sleep and therefore will require a more individualised approach. If you are aware there are problems in any of these areas, may I suggest you give me a call and we can devise a more individualised approach to your concerns.
Once any and all of the above has been addressed, you are ready to go forth and optimise the sleep and settling expectations of your baby, so stick with me whilst I attempt to shed some light.
Tip 2
Ensure you offer the first sleep of the day earlier rather than later to set your day up well and avoid struggling with an overtired little person for the remainder of the day. Rule of thumb is to return your baby to bed no later than 1-1 ½ hours after morning waking. The younger the baby, the earlier they need to get back into bed. For example, a two month old will need to return within the hour, but a ten month old may be ready for sleep at 1 ½ hours. Watch for those tired signs and move gently but swiftly when the reddened eyebrow area or loss of interest in an activity is first detected- sleep must take priority at this time. No sleep cue noted? Well, it’s time to be the bigger, stronger, wiser parent and to offer sleep regardless.
Tip 3
If your baby wakes in less than an hour after settling, this is considered a catnap. ie. an ineffectual rest without depth of sleep. Therefore, it is time to re-settle your baby and offer further sleep rather than get him/her up at this time. If the sleep has been any longer than one hour, perhaps an hour and half, two or three hours, then the sleep is complete for now and it is time to get up, have a cuddle, make connection, offer a feed and nappy change if due and play.
Tip 4
Ensure you put your baby to bed awake as often as possible. I believe a good routine to adhere to is ‘play, feed, a story or song together and settle to bed’. The length of time awake should be determined by viewing tired cues and keeping in mind ‘what sleep has gone before’. For example, if your baby has only slept for 30 minutes and was unable to re-settle during the last sleep cycle, then they will need to return to bed sooner than if they have had a 2 hour sleep previously.
Tip 5
Listen to your baby and learn when you are really needed. Something I see time and time again is babies trying to settle themselves but not being allowed to. Learn some of the sounds of settling your baby makes when they are trying to regulate themselves to sleep, otherwise known as ‘self soothing behaviours’.
These sounds are styled in many ways. Some babies ‘chatter’ for extended periods, some will practice what sounds like a rhythmic sing-song cry, others will make a whinging sound and many will escalate their cry just before they settle to sleep. Please be sure to give your baby the headspace to have the opportunity to learn to settle themselves when they are able. We often remain a little too much in their face during this important settling time, making closing their eyes and drifting to sleep impossible.
If you would like some advice regarding your baby’s age appropriate sleep requirements, specific settling techniques, re-settling tips or support to walk this important journey of teaching your baby healthy sleep habits, please make contact and I would be happy to visit and complete the process in the comfort of your own home. If you are yearning for more sleep then no doubt your baby is too.
Here’s some songs to share with your baby just before bedtime:
If you’re not inclined to sing then hum these lovely lullabies to your baby
Twinkle, Twinkle, Little Star
Twinkle, twinkle, little star
How I wonder what you are!
Up above the world so high
Like a diamond in the sky
Twinkle, twinkle, little star
How I wonder what you are
Hush, Little Baby
Hush, little baby, don't say a word.
Papa's gonna buy you a mockingbird
And if that mockingbird won't sing,
Papa's gonna buy you a diamond ring
And if that diamond ring turns brass,
Papa's gonna buy you a looking glass
And if that looking glass gets broke,
Papa's gonna buy you a billy goat
And if that billy goat won't pull,
Papa's gonna buy you a cart and bull
And if that cart and bull turn over,
Papa's gonna buy you a dog named Rover
And if that dog named Rover won't bark
Papa's gonna buy you a horse and cart
And if that horse and cart fall down,
You'll still be the sweetest little baby in town.
Somewhere Over the Rainbow
Somewhere, over the rainbow, way up high
There's a land that I heard of once in a lullaby
Somewhere, over the rainbow, skies are blue
And the dreams that you dare to dream really do come true
Someday I'll wish upon a star
And wake up where the clouds are far behind me
Where troubles melt like lemon drops
Away above the chimney tops
That's where you'll find me
Somewhere over the rainbow, bluebirds fly
Birds fly over the rainbow
Why then, oh why can't I?
If happy little bluebirds fly
Beyond the rainbow
Why, oh why, can't I?
Toora, Loora, Loora
Toora, loora, loora
Toora, loora, li
Toora, loora, loora
Hush, now, don't you cry
Ah,
Toora, loora, loora
Toora, loora, li
Toora, loora, loora
It's an Irish lullaby
Over in Killarney, many years ago
My mother sang this song to me in tones so sweet and low
Just a simple little ditty in her good old Irish way
And I'd give the world if she could sing that song to me this day
Toora, loora, loora
Toora, loora, li
Toora, loora, loora
Hush, now, don't you cry
Ah,
Toora, loora, loora
Toora, loora, li
Toora, loora, loora
It's an Irish lullaby
Amazing Grace
Amazing grace! How sweet the sound
That saved a wretch like me
I once was lost but now am found
Was blind but now I see
'Twas grace that taught my heart to fear
And grace my fears relieved
How precious did that grace appear
The hour I first believed
Through many dangers, toils and snares
I have already come
'Tis grace hath brought me safe thus far
And grace will lead me home
How sweet the name of Jesus sounds
In a believer's ear
It soothes his sorrows, heals his wounds
And drives away his fear
Must Jesus bear the cross alone
And all the world go free?
No, there's a cross for ev'ryone
And there's a cross for me
