The perfect storm has been brewing for more than a decade, with the advertising industry launching an unconscionable, premeditated assault on pre-teen girls, exploiting their insecurities and their yearning to fit in.
Lovely young women in their mid to late teens who have all sorts of good qualities, but hate themselves and the world they’re in. We adults have been around long enough to know that things work out, people have a value far beyond just looking good: its not the prettiest girls that get the boys or have the happiest lives. What our young women see is that it’s all ‘win-lose’. You’re either Miley Cyrus or a failure.
At the same time, TV and the internet have become the ‘third parent’. Sexuality is now thrust upon girls prematurely so they feel they have to project it before they even know what it is. Of course, the free availability of internet porn- soft or hard- has only exacerbated the problem. Prostitutes complain they don’t stand out anymore because all girls on the street dress like hookers.
In music videos women appear to be little more than double-jointed provocative beings, but is Dora the Explorer or Barbie much better? Mean girls and impossibly beautiful characters provide another form of undesirable example to our girls.
Allowing uncensored exposure to many internet programs, TV series and YouTube videos is irresponsible parenting. ‘Cop out parenting’ using statements such as “But what can I do” or “ She gets frustrated with me when I restrict her shows”, seems an ever-increasing part of today’s parenting culture. Limiting screen time and monitoring the content of what your child is viewing is a necessary component of today’s parent package. The ‘diet for your girl’s brain is worthy of this appropriately limited content’.
Mums are their daughter’s number one role model for their approach to life. Girls benefit from mums who are more laid back or more self-accepting. Be human, make mistakes and admit your mistakes. Look at the climate in your home- is it a stressed place? There’s no way a child can be more relaxed than their parents. We set the emotional thermometer for our family. Allow your daughter to experience disappointment, work through the challenges it brings and recognise that tomorrow is another day with further opportunities.
Copyright Louise Shalders.
