"Guilt is a common but wasted emotion. It often comes about from trying to be a perfect mother when perfection does not exist. When guilt pops up, check in with what your guilt is telling you. Does it come from overly high expectations, or from an inner knowing that something is not sitting well with you? Explore it, make choices in line with what you value, but don't let guilt govern your sense of self. Get to know who you are, what matters to you, and what you want for your child/ren. Trying to be a perfect mother does not help anyone." Dr. Renee Miller
“Being a mother is learning about strengths you didn’t know you had, and dealing with fears you didn’t know existed.” Linda Wootten
"Through the blur, I wondered if I was alone or if other parents felt the same way I did that everything involving our children was painful in some way. The emotions, whether they were joy, sorrow, love or pride, were so deep and sharp that in the end they left you raw, exposed and yes, in pain." Debra Ginsberg
"We can be so harsh on ourselves as mums. Trying to get it all 'right' when there is no 'right' way. We can judge ourselves as inadequate by comparing ourselves to others or by trying to live up to impossible standards. Why are we so often kinder and more forgiving of our friends than we are of ourselves? Allow yourself and your relationship with your child/ren to be 'works in progress', learning and evolving over the course of time." Dr. Renee Miller
"Just when you think its all too hard, your child helps you find another level of ‘hard’, so embrace it…..use this moment to strengthen your resolve." Dr. Alan Romstedt
"Take stock of the pace in which you are operating. Does it seem like there are endless tasks on your 'to do' list, that you don't have time to sit down, and that you are constantly rushing? We can fall into the trap of just keeping on going. Stop...slow down. Add "time-out" to your 'to do' list. No one can just keep going. Allow your 'to do' list to roll over each day. Slow down the pace in which you are living. Take breaks. It is so important to restore our systems. Ironically, this allows us to get more done." Dr. Renee Miller
"A mother is she who can take the place of all others but whose place no one else can take.” Cardinal Mermillod
"Women often compare themselves to other mothers, and compare their babies to other babies. This is understandable given that in this new role, women are looking for evidence for what is 'normal'. However, self doubt and feelings of inadequacy can be the result. There is great variability between mums, their relationships, work/financial situations, backgrounds, hopes, dreams, fears, and importantly between babies' temperaments. How can there possibly be a 'one-size-fits-all'? Women can feel so empowered when they recognise that everyone is different, and that everyone makes choices based on their unique situations and their unique considerations." Dr. Renee Miller
"Thinking of your child as behaving badly disposes you to think of punishment. Thinking of your child as struggling to handle something difficult encourages you to help them through their distress." Author Unknown
When we think in 'all or nothing' terms, or have a 'good-bad' or 'right-wrong' view of motherhood, we can feel stuck in thinking there is only one way to do things. Using such criteria can result in being critical of ourselves or critical of others. Sometimes, thinking about a ‘middle-ground’, a more moderate approach, can help us to ease up on our expectations of self and others, and bring a more balanced view of motherhood. This can take the pressure off, and allow us to enjoy the experience more. There is no such thing as perfect and 'good-enough' is good enough.
