I’m guessing you’re reading this because you have a baby who is wakeful, doesn’t settle easily, isn’t getting enough sleep or has distressing behaviours around sleep. Be very aware that you are not alone. Unsettled behaviours in babies in this age group are very commonplace, as your baby gets accustomed to being earth side.
You’ve no doubt ‘tried everything’. You’ve fed her more, fed her less often, changed your diet if you are breastfeeding, tried a different formula if you are bottle feeding, listened to the advice of well-meaning relatives and friends, tried white noise, nature sounds, a lulla-doll, a swaddle, arms out, arms in, a sleeping bag, a weighted blanket, no blanket, turned up the heating, turned down the heating, put her to bed earlier or waited until she is really tired before putting her down, done countless google searches, joined social media groups and read hundreds of parents’ forums.
All in an effort to find that elusive approach that works.
Trouble is that what works for one family/baby, will have the opposite or no effect for another.
An unsettled, wakeful baby in a household can not only cause great distress to parents and families in general, it is unhealthy for the wakeful baby and often makes parents feel ineffective, doubt regarding their parenting abilities kicks in and confidence takes a dive.
How much sleep does my baby need?
It is useful to know that every baby differs in this regard, so have a think about the total amount of sleep your baby is having in 24 hours. The Australian Sleep Health Foundation (2014) has collated data from 312 studies over the last decade and has provided these guidelines to give you a reference point:
- NB’s (0-3 months): 14-17hrs/day
- Infants (4-11months): 12-15hrs
- Toddlers (1-2years): 11-14hrs
- Preschoolers (3-5years): 10-13hrs
Shouldn’t my baby have a routine and be sleeping through the night?
It is useful to remember that babies in this age group need night feeds, spreading their sleep and feeding over the 24-hour period somewhat more evenly. So aiming to work to routine of 4-hourly feeds by day and sleeping through the night is a rather unrealistic approach this early in your baby’s life. Rather, babies are on a 24-hour clock, with a more even spread of feeding and sleeping... those of you who have ever raised a pet lamb or calf will understand what I’m talking about!
You may need to lower your expectations a little, and cut both you and your baby some slack, if routine was high on your agenda for your newborn, little babies just don’t operate that way!
A general daily pattern to aim for in this age group is a short play, then feed, then settling off to sleep. The times that this occurs are likely to be different each day, as the next feed and sleep is governed by the time and length of sleep or feed previously.
Do I take every opportunity to stimulate my baby when she’s awake to ensure I make the most of every learning opportunity?
Your baby entered this world such a short time ago and will take a number of months to acclimatise to our noisy, bright and busy world. Offer sleep often, by ensuring your baby isn’t left awake too long early on, don’t over stimulate with noise and light, flashing toys and movement. Allow your baby to seek out your face when she is in the mood and talk to her, making careful, quiet eye contact and imitating each other… this is the early beginnings of the pattern of language. You are her favourite toy.
Should I teach my baby to self-settle early by putting them in the cot awake, every sleep?
Cuddle often!
Yes, I mean this most sincerely. So many parents I meet are almost afraid to cuddle their babies for fear of ‘making a rod for their own back’ regarding sleep. The families I work with are told to ‘mix it up a little’, cuddle your baby to sleep sometimes and other times, if they are relaxed and happy, place them in the bassinette/cot awake, so this doesn’t become a completely foreign place to them.
Down regulation …. A lifelong tool
Help your baby to learn to down regulate whilst they are very young, prior to going to bed. This is an important tool for settling and practice should begin early. Quiet talking, humming, or singing softly to your baby, allowing them to calm in the dim light sometimes, or a short, slow massage, might suit you both. On that note, use whatever relaxes and calms you, and your baby is more likely to join ‘your calm’ and follow suit. For some parents it might be holding your baby at the window for a short period before bed to stare at a tree’s leaves move in the wind, or the clouds move by.
How can not having enough sleep be unhealthy for my baby?
Remember your baby doesn’t know that insufficient sleep will make them tired and irritable, cause them difficulty making the most of each learning opportunity, interfere with appetite, make co-ordinating effective sucking during feeding and completing a feed satisfactorily difficult, interrupt their growth and make it all the harder to settle to sleep again next time. It’s therefore important for YOU to give your baby opportunity to sleep regardless of whether your baby thinks it’s time or not… be the bigger, stronger and wiser person. Your baby is relying on this. Keep half an eye on the clock and, if your baby has been up around 1 hour, start to think about settling them again soon. But, get in earlier if needed by watching for tired cues.
What are the early tired cues to watch for?
- Staring
- Becoming still after movement
- Becoming ‘busy’ or ‘chatty’ after being still
- Hiccups
What is a sleep cycle and why is it important for my baby?
We all need to sleep and we know that everyone has a sleep cycle. That is, they move from light (Rapid Eye Movement) sleep where they are active, often dream and breathing is more rapid. We then move to deep (Non-Rapid Eye Movement) sleep where there is no movement and the body is quiet. Adults have a sleep cycle of approximately 90 minutes long but babies sleep cycles are much shorter at 30-50 minutes long, providing more REM sleep and thereby more opportunity for babies to wake.
The developmental benefits of REM sleep
Sleep researchers believe that infant sleeping patterns are a “smarter” way to sleep than typical adult sleeping. They theorize that light sleep helps the brain develop because the brain doesn’t rest during REM sleep. In fact, blood flow to the brain nearly doubles during REM sleep. (This increased blood flow is particularly evident in the area of the brain that automatically controls breathing.) During REM sleep the body increases its manufacture of certain nerve proteins, the building blocks of the brain.
Learning is also thought to occur during the active stage of sleep. The brain may use this time to process information acquired while awake, storing what is beneficial to the individual and discarding what is not. Some sleep researchers believe that REM sleeps acts to auto-stimulate the developing brain, providing beneficial imagery that promotes mental development.
During the light sleep stage, the higher centres of the brain keep operating, yet during deep sleep these higher brain centres shut off and the baby functions on their lower brain centres. It is possible that during this stage of rapid brain growth (babies’ brains grow to nearly seventy percent of adult volume during the first two years) the brain needs to continue functioning during sleep in order to develop.
It is interesting to note that premature babies spend even more of their sleep time (approximately 90 percent) in REM sleep, perhaps to accelerate their brain growth. As you can see, the period of life when humans sleep the most and the brain is developing the most rapidly is also the time when they have the most active sleep.
This is useful to keep in mind when trying to align baby’s sleep cycles with those of the adult. Whilst parents would like to have an uninterrupted sleep overnight, perhaps it is worth remembering, that to optimise your baby’s developmental progress, the infant brain needs to remain more active in sleep than the adult brain. This period of parent sleep deprivation will pass…
Copyright Louise Shalders
